Creative LMent

I believe that creativity is a powerful skill that can be practiced and developed. I hope my blog inspires you to find your very own "creative lment". ~LM

Being Your Own BFF

That's right, I'm talken' to you out there!

As the saying goes, no matter where you are, there you are. We are the only constant in our own lives. When we become our own best friend, we can count on ourselves. We may not have all the answers, but we will have a strategy. Even when finding a trustworthy friend proves difficult, the absence of one will have less impact on our perspective of life, self and others. This is why it is so important for each of us to be our own best friend. Doing so means recognizing and accepting your own strengths, weaknesses and preferences and having the confidence to pursue the best possible version of ourselves. It may take a life time to develop, but if you are willing to head down a path of self awareness, you will improve your esteem, confidence and self-respect. You will find yourself looking inwards for validation, assurance and direction rather than to others, resulting in a more fulfilling and rewarding life. The person that others come to know will be your truest expression of self.

Several years ago, I decided to make “being my own best friend” a focus in my life and the experience was incredible. It is an act of love – and although the building blocks may seem inward for a time – they establish the framework needed for one to express love to others. It is through this life experience that I am able to write these road map attributes.

  1. Practice Trust, Praise & Encouragement – If you do not trust yourself, then how can others? Trust is the foundation of any great relationship. Trusting yourself means that you believe in your own integrity. Many talented people have written books on this subject, but a great starting point is to work on believing your own competence – that you really are capable and deserving of your goals. A large part of this is recognizing all the negative reinforcement that we routinely play in our heads and replacing it with positive messages.
  2. Stay Checked In – A best friend is a real, loyal confidant – no matter what the circumstances. They don’t “check out” when things go badly and they don’t give up on us when we stumble. “Checking out” as it relates to self can show up as depression, substance abuse, or flat out, ignoring problems. This type of behavior compounds our issues and delays our progress in life. The sheer act of recognizing that our life has stalled due to an unresolved problem is the first step to getting back on track – and taking real action to move forward is the second.
  3. Protect Yourself from Others – Consider all the toxic personalities, overly emotional energy suckers, and drama queens in your life. I’m not talking about genuinely good intentioned people who need the occasional helping hand. I am talking about the folks who give you overt anxiety every time you commit to meeting with them, the folks who leave you feeling emotionally exhausted because all they do is “take” without ever giving back, the ones who’s only view of the world is one which they are at the centre. Reevaluate these relationships carefully – and determine if this is a mutually beneficial relationship and/or if it is healthy. If it is not, how much longer do you plan to continue giving your precious life energy to this person? Consider some alternative activities that this time and energy could be put towards instead and weigh the pros and cons.
  4. Provide Space to Grow – Best friends understand boundaries and that everyone needs time to themselves; they understand that we all need different things at different points in our life.  Being your own best friend means knowing when to step back from a thought pattern, activity or situation. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself time – which often means giving yourself permission to be upset about a problem or mourn a life event . Often perspective only comes after a life experience has occurred. The question of how long that period of reflection needs to be depends on the person and the situation. Overall, a balanced life needs a healthy blend of past, present and future thought – so recognize that focus on any one tense for any extended period of time will have an impact on others.
  5. Practice Random Acts of Kindness – There are two types I am referring to here – self-kindness and kindness to others: (1) Self-Kindness: Because if you don’t take time to do these things for yourself, who will? The great news is that these activities do not have to cost a lot of money. Simple changes in your routine such as regular bubble baths or spending time doing a hobby you love all make an impact and give you a feeling of self worth.  (2) Random Acts of Kindness to Others: Exercise charity and random acts of kindness to others, doing so will remind you of others less fortunate, will help you become more grateful and satisfied with what gifts you have been given in your own life.

Wishing you peace, health and happiness, always. ~LM

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One comment on “Being Your Own BFF

  1. Anna
    September 17, 2011

    This is just what I needed to hear :D

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